I would like to talk about REFLECTION.
In the last week or two, it has been a word that has come to my attention a few times. So I thought...maybe...this is a topic that might be worth writing about and I also thought, perhaps, by sharing - something might resonate with you too!
Most people I know, particularly women and certainly not excluding men, do not like mirrors. We pass mirrors or glass, catch our reflection and what is the first thought in most people's minds?
A negative thought, a criticism about themselves/ their body/ their clothes/ their hair or anything else that they notice, wishing they were better than what they are, criticising where they are at in life. All of these thoughts pass through our minds hundreds of times a day, without us even questioning them.
How often do you think people look in the mirror and say -
"You know what? You are pretty awesome! You are perfect just the way you are! I know you are doing the best you can! I love you. I really love you!"
Probably not very often at all!
How often do YOU look in the mirror and say those things?
I was given homework last week. From my coach. I was not happy about the homework. I was resistant. Very resistant. There may have been some complaints about having to do it. Ok...there was complaining! There was definitely some commenting on the necessity of it all. I broke out into a cold sweat! Just the thought of having to do the homework brought on a feeling of angst! (Seriously...not kidding here!)
What kind of homework would make you feel uncomfortable, bring on a feeling of angst and create such resistance, you may be asking?
Mirror work is simple. It is looking deeply into your eyes and repeating affirmations - in front of the mirror. Doesn't sound overly difficult, right?
There is a book called 'Mirror Work' written by motivational author Louise Hay. It is, essentially, 21 days of affirmations, in front of a mirror. 21 days to heal your life - loving yourself, healing inner pain, forgiving yourself, starting your day with love etc.
To use 21 daily affirmations to change your self-talk and self-perception.
Because let's face it....most people's self-talk gets in the way of living a completely joyful life. I am no different.
An affirmation is simply, whatever we say or think. All of your self-talk is a running list of affirmations. The thing we don't realise is - these affirmations, our self-talk land in our subconscious and then end up becoming the way we think and then ultimately the way we behave. So...having more positive affirmations in our self-talk supports the development of our self-confidence and self- esteem and creates increased peace of mind and inner joy.
Where there is resistance, there will be growth. Growth has far more effect on us if we go through a challenge to achieve it. If there is enough resistance to something, the chances are it is something you probably really need to be doing!
I have spent most of my life not loving myself in the way I needed to love myself and I don't think I am alone.
I have been very good at building others up but not so great at doing it for myself.
The most powerful affirmations are those you say out loud when you are in front of your mirror. (Saying them in your head, to begin with, does not have the same result! You try it!)
- Which is why when we say disempowering statements out loud, continuously, we believe them wholeheartedly!
The mirror reflects back to you the feelings you have about yourself. There is literally NO hiding!
It makes you immediately aware of where you are resisting and where you are open and flowing.
Telling yourself 'I love you. I really love you' and genuinely meaning it, is so much harder than I thought it would be! Because it's not 'I love you IF you were... skinnier/ smarter/ had better hair/ looked like her or him etc.' It is just straight up - Loving yourself without conditions or judgements and because we judge ourselves all the time - it was very tricky!
FOR THE ADULTS:
Are you able to look in the mirror and love yourself unconditionally and without judgement? If not, what are you judging about yourself?
Try saying instead: I am willing to learn to love you. I know you are doing the best you can. You are perfect just the way you are.
And then see how you feel as you are saying it? Is it weird? Uncomfortable? Painful in some way? Repeat it throughout the day and notice how you feel about it.
How often do you thank yourself for doing the very best you can...in health/ work/ life?
FOR THE LITTLE HUMANS:
Have you thought about doing Mirror Talk and Affirmations with your children? If they can talk, they can do this with you!
In the beginning, they are repeating what you are saying, out loud, to themselves, in front of the mirror, doing it together!
IMAGINE, if your child had the most positive, uplifting and empowering self-talk in their heads! Imagine how that would change their own self-confidence, self-perception.
IMAGINE if they truly and unconditionally loved themselves with all their beauty and imperfections - how powerful that would be!
I am only just over a week into my 21 days of homework and I will admit, I am feeling a change. I am still a work in progress (and some days are easier than others) but I am learning to be a bit more gentle with myself and know that I really am doing the best I can. The Mirror work is still challenging but the discomfort is subsiding with each day.
Our life is a reflection of our thoughts. If we change our thoughts, we CAN change our lives!
Until next week...be kind to yourself and have a mindful week!
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