Fear is one of those things we all experience in life. Some people learn to face fear and push through anyway. Others, use fear as an excuse to stay in the zone of comfort and not step out into different areas of life.
But fear can also show up in ways we don't consciously think about.
When you think about the greatest fear that people might have, it is one of loss.
Fear of loss includes, but not restricted to - loss of a family member or a friend, loss of money or financial insecurity, loss of health, loss of independence and many more.
As hard and as much as I work on being a better version of myself, I, like everyone is, am not immune to old patterns and fears arising and showing up in life. The problem with our fear patterns is that it influences how we interact with others and what we do in our day to day lives.
I have been told, that letting go of fear is how we move forward. But for me personally, I wasn't clear until recently how to actually do that. How do I let go? What am I supposed to be letting go of exactly? Is it the fear itself or the thoughts around it or both? Someone telling me to let it go just wasn't working out for me!
But then my wonderful coach suggested another angle which actually made a whole lot more sense to me and is helping me to think about things from a different perspective.
What if you had a pen in your hand and I asked you to let it go? When I got asked this question, my response was - I would drop it! But imagine if the pen was the fear or the loss you were experiencing. Now, what would you do? You wouldn't naturally let it go. It takes conscious thought and probably a whole lot of encouragement.
BUT.....WHAT IF....instead of being asked to let go of the 'pen', you put something else in that space? Two things can not occupy the same space. You can not be in a state of happiness and pain at the same time. It is not possible. So what if, instead of trying to let go of the fear, we simply replaced it with something different.
These are the questions that helped me to think about this more clearly.
What am I holding onto?
What should I be holding on to?
What can I put in the space instead of fear?
What can I embrace or what will I allow in my life?
What do I want to be connected to?
Maybe the letting go of fear is simply the act of putting something else in that space.
Here are some suggestions for how you might answer those questions:
Do you want to be connected to/embrace/hold onto:
Your purpose or mission
Being your most authentic self
What if these were some of the things you embraced? So, now if I asked you to embrace love and compassion (either for yourself or someone else) and you did that, you would be replacing the fear and you would let go of the 'pen'.
Life is about change and the ability to adapt to those changes. We spend too much time fearing the changing seasons of our life. People seem to think that embracing something good or embracing life means jumping off cliffs and kissing strangers and doing something wild. Don't get me wrong, there are many thrills to be found in the adventure of life. But perhaps, in slowly learning to love ourselves that we find our greatest embrace. Love and compassion for yourself are what will allow you to fill your space with what you need instead of constantly battling and holding onto the fear.
We make this step - the letting go and embracing - so much harder for ourselves. But really, it is not that complicated. We just have to make the choice. The choice to bring the power back into our lives and take the power out of our fear.
Your life is now. Make it amazing. Embrace it. Find your voice. Discover your passion and pursue it. Be honest, generous, kind. Surround yourself with love, laughter, truth and joy. Let your heart be what guides you instead of fear. Be brave and wild at heart. Let go of how you thought your life should be. That is fear talking.
Life is uncertain. We can either live with our fear or replace the space with something else. Discover what you want to embrace and be connected to and then embrace it with joy. Your life is worth it.
Until next week...embrace your life and live with joy.
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