What was the Question?

My standard question to the kids I teach, when they say, "I don't know" is....

"If you did know, what do you think the answer might be?"

This is a statement I say a lot!

I wrote some time ago about asking better questions. Learning to ask better questions is something I am constantly trying to achieve. After all...ask a better question and you will get a better answer!

When it comes to my classroom and teaching, I absolutely believe I am an expert in my field. Author, Malcolm Gladwell, states that it requires 10000 hours of deliberate practice to be considered an expert in anything. So, after 21 years of teaching, I think I have earned the position to consider myself this! 

Over the last few years, I have become a lot more conscious of asking better questions to my students. The results are noticeably different. I think I have mastered this well. 

How do I know it is working? It can be heard in what they say, it can be seen in what they do and how they interact with others as well. But sometimes, it is just plain obvious and clear! Like yesterday!

Yesterday, one of my students was doing 'Show and Tell' and could not remember the name of his little fossil. He knew what it started with but it was a complicated scientific name that he could not recall. One of my other students popped up his hand and asked this question:

 "What would it be called if you could remember it?" (Essentially asking - If you did know...?)

Both my teaching partner and I were flawed! When asked where he heard a question like that, he pointed to me and said "Mrs Johnson!" This moment was a true highlight. 

And it got me thinking...sometimes we are unsure as adults if kids are really listening to things we say. I am pretty sure we can safely say - absolutely they are! 

Let's dig a little deeper.

When we say the same thing enough or we ask the same question enough times, our little humans start to take it all on board, internalise it and then start using it themselves. It actually doesn't take a long time for this to happen. It just takes consistency on our part as the adult. 

Isn't it interesting that it takes adults longer to figure this stuff out?!

When it comes to asking myself questions, I think I am still in the intermediate phase. No longer a novice but not quite an expert yet!

The questions we ask our little humans and other people seem somewhat better than the ones we ask ourselves. 

 The only question that really matters is the one you ask yourself.

What we do, what we say, how we act not only has an impact on those around us but it has the most significant impact on ourselves and the beliefs we hold about ourselves. 

I have been asking myself these questions a lot in recent weeks when trying to work out what direction to move to next:

Is it better to do this....or to do that? Should I do this first or that?

Now technically nothing wrong with this question but it doesn't actually help me decide as I am constantly looking for the best answer. The problem with that is, we never know what the best answer so often because we don't know what it is, it stops us from taking action. 

Reality: There is no BEST answer. There is just the answer you choose to try!

 Never shy away from asking yourself the hard questions.

We often avoid asking the hard and challenging questions because we already have an inkling about what the answer could be so we don't ask it. 

Asking ourselves the more challenging questions is the only way to learn more about yourself, to push the boundaries of your comfort zone and to grow into the person you wan to be.

They are hard for a reason!

Reality: You have to ask yourself the hard questions. But it is important to remember that it is okay if your answers change as you do.

 The quality of your life will be determined by the quality of questions you ask yourself. (Tony Robbins)

It is time to stop asking ourselves questions that have no meaning. It is time to start asking ourselves the questions that encourage us to ponder, to dig deep, to help us figure stuff out, to inspire us to change what we are doing or where we are going and who we want to become.

We can spend our lives asking: 'Why me?' Which a lot of people do. You will never, ever find an answer to that question that is useful or inspiring.

Don't you think it is time you deserve to ask better questions in order to live a better life? You are totally worth it. 

Reality: We can only find the answers we seek in life by changing the questions. The ironic thing about it all will be - the answers you think you are searching for may not always be the ones you need! It will all depend on your questions!

So what kind of questions can we ask ourselves and teach our little humans to ask as well?

You can't solve a problem until you are asking the right question. The art and science of asking questions is the source of all of our knowledge - both in our life and in learning.

 Here are my ideas for you:

 What can I try? (Instead of What is the right thing to do?)

 If I already knew the answer what would it be? (Instead of How do I figure out what the answer is?)

 What COULD I do? (Instead of what should I do?)

 Why not? (Instead of Why?)

 Why not now? (Instead of Why now?)

 Why not me? (Instead of Why me?)

 What could I do differently? 

 What am I missing?

 What opportunities am I not taking advantage of?

 What could I do differently? 

 Who could I ask for help?

These might seem like overly simple questions. But I encourage you to trust me when I say, changing the way you ask even the simplest question will completely change the response you get and give.

If you want to support your little humans as they move through their journey, practice these few simple questions and take note of the impact they have.

I never learn anything talking. I only learn things when I ask questions.

Lou Holtz

Until next week...have a magnificent and mindful week.

Clarissa xo